Friday, February 10, 2012


I started writing yesterday, not really knowing what for, but there were words inside me that kept pushing and trying to get out. So I let them. Halfway through a wonderful sentence that was carrying itself very well and had commas in all the right places, it suddenly came to a full stop. My pen got stuck for a period of time circling in that little black dot until it got bigger and bigger. I sat there for a minute, trying to get my pen un-stuck, and it hit me: my pen was doing warm-up laps.

The next sentence took off in a flash and began to run and run and run and run, back and forth across the page, snaking its way left to right, top to bottom, as fast as it could go, so fast that my t's became plus signs, a's turned into o's because there wasn't enough time to put the little tails on them, v's and u's and w's all blended into a series of indecipherable check marks, my R's warped into P's and my C's into parentheses, M's and N's got scrunched down so tight they looked like I's, B's got tipped on their sides and squished so they looked like badly drawn hearts, G's became Q's and Q's became G's, X's and Y's turned neuter, Z's and S's lost their curves and edges, and by the time the sentence stopped running all my words had changed. It was an absolute mess.

I tried to get my words back in line by using some expletive symbols ($&%@ and !*#@ and the like) but that only got my words even more riled up. Before I could try anything else my words took off again. Only this time they didn't run, they started dancing across the solid blue lines in my notebook. Charleston kept it classy while Foxtrot wound his was through words caught between doing the Twist and the Hand-Jive. It was fun, but pretty chaotic. And to make matters worse I had to keep an eye on Bump & Grind to make sure they never got too close to each other. Ya know, prodding them with my pen and what not so they knew I was still watching. Then a word came on the page that made every other word stop what they were doing and turn to look.

It was you.

Spotlight turned and shone, Hush tripped and fell over Crowd, Breath held his own, and no one made a sound. You were there. You took my pen by the hand and led it across a row of awestruck words, setting it down gently somewhere in the margin. And then you started to dance. Alone. I tried to follow you with my eyes but the page opened up and you filled all of it, bits and pieces of you in every word. You were everywhere. You danced and all the words inside me no longer rushed to get out. They were gone. You danced and everything became calm. Quiet. All my mixed up letters turned back to who they were supposed to be. You danced and I realized that none of my words mean anything. Except you.

Thursday, February 2, 2012

You Can Tell the Truth, right?

I'd rather be alone.
I'm lying if I tell you
that I need you in my life.
It's time that you knew
who I really am without you.
The truth is, I dont know
why we came together.
It doesn't matter now,
as long as you are gone.
I'll be falling apart every day
if you stay.
I will show you I'm better than this,
that I just needed a chance.
You saw the truth-
I wasn't good enough.
But you refused to believe
that I didn't need you.
I tried so many times to convince myself
that you are her--the one I want.
It took a while, but now I know
You're gone.

*(now, starting with the last line, read the poem backwards--from bottom to top)