Friday, December 31, 2010

Shuffle Step

Campus +  'Old White Lincoln" by The Gaslight Anthem = 3 minutes 23 seconds of my own world. Best math equation ever. Stepping my way from the JSB towards the library turns from a chore to a joy. By the time I get there maybe '9 Crimes' by Damien Rice has started playing. Is that all right?... Yeah. Being alone on that north-right bench in the middle of Pathway X has been the highlight of more than one day. People pass by, but they aren't really there. By now its probably 10:58 a.m. on a cloudy Tuesday. I guess I could take the long walk and join the huddled masses for devotional, but the more I debate it the more comfortable my uncomfortable bench becomes. Especially since a beam of sunlight just wove its way through the blanket of clouds and nestled itself on my shoulders. Perhaps I'll just stay here a while and think.
'Romeo and Juliet' by The Killers starts to snake its way up the cord from my iPod and reminds me of a girl with a different name, but somehow it's about her. I smile. So far the ol' iPod has been an excellent DJ; 3-for-3 on the day. My world nearly crumbles, though, when a way-too-twangy Brad Paisley song comes careening into my eardrums. With trained precision my hand digs into my pocket to unlock the 'hold' button and  banishes the song with a firm click of the '>>/' button.... It takes a few seconds to settle back down. By way of apology my iPod tries to shuffle its way back into my good graces with Train's 'Mississippi'.

Apology accepted.

Is it a song about a girl? Or is it about a river? Doesn't matter. It can be about whatever or whoever I want it to be about. After all, it's my world.

Thursday, November 4, 2010

those days

Do you ever have those days?

No, no, not the bad ones; everybody has the bad ones. I mean the good ones.

Ya know, those days when something happens that makes you smile harder and more naturally than you have in ages, and you look at your immediate surroundings (briefly, because you don't want to take your eyes off whatever it is that is making you smile so gosh dang hard) just to make sure nothing is out of place or weird and that it can't possibly be a dream, and then you look back at the subject and source of your joy, whatever/whoever it is, and it's all you can do to keep from hugging them (unless you already are) in an effort to forcibly share your joy, thinking that somehow if you held them tight enough they might feel some semblance of your happiness as it emanates from your chest like one of those little pocket warmers that you stick inside your gloves when you go sledding in the winter, and no matter how hard you try (even though you aren't) you can't wipe that incredibly natural feel-good smile off your face, and about every 22 seconds the feeling like you're about to bust up laughing rises in your chest and you have to quell it so that you aren't mistaken for some 'loony-bin' escapee, and as the day wears on the feeling doesn't fade, no, not in the least, in fact, you become nigh oblivious to everything that is wrong and could be wrong with the world, not even noticing the parking ticket pinned under your windshield wiper, or the lady that cut you off while putting on her lipstick, driving clutch, and texting goodness-knows-who at the same time while successfully making you miss the green arrow to turn left, or that you have a 12-page research paper due yesterday, or that there is nothing to eat for dinner except a half-empty bag of Doritos and 1/4 a gallon of milk, or that your ex-girlfriend/boyfriend just posted pictures on facebook of their new significant other, or that the class that you need for your major just got dropped and is no longer being taught "Winter-2011" so that you have to rearrange your entire semester schedule and wait a whole year until you can take it, or that little critters are becoming extinct left and right, or that the mall has every size of the shoe you have been waiting and saving to buy except the one that will fit you...

And none of this bothers you.

That's because today is one of those days. Ya know, those days when you smile harder and walk lighter than you have in ages. Those days that make you feel as young as you really are.

It's been a while since I've had one of those.

Monday, October 18, 2010

The Field

The field is empty now, with people leaving
Dried grass, patches of dirt where it happened

We stand there in disbelief, it can't be over
Tears begin to brim our eyes, blinding us

Do you remember what it felt like to know
To know you didn't give your all, and now all is gone

Is it fair? No, it is never fair. How could it be?
We needed more of heart, of soul, devotion

You never realize how much you miss it, until its gone
Only then does the guilt hit you, you did not endeavor

We stay there, talking of great things
All of those things could only happen here, like magic

You begin to love it; the smell, the sweat, the effort, the essence
You cherish those things, for some will never have them again

But then maybe it is fair. because through trial comes triumph
And triumph is something to strive for, to bring  you back

To the fidelity of the Field